Children of Men

OK, I know this is shockingly early for another post, but I thought it necessary to let all of my reader know that despite what you may have hard on the news, I currently DO NOT have the Mexican Swine Flu.

Of course we know that it is a statistical inevitability that I will have it and that it will kill me, exactly in the same way I inevitably contracted and was killed by SARS, bird flu, monkey pox, Ebola, AIDS and Africanized killer bees. I seem to have gotten better after suffering those afflictions along with 100% of the rest of the population, buy I figure my luck is bound to run out soon enough.

Just because something is a statistical certainty doesn't mean we shouldn't invite trouble. As a prophylactic measure, I am voluntarily ending all intimate contact with Mexican swine, effective immediately. No more backrubs, sharing straws, nothing. I'm not even taking their e-mails. Sorry, Conchita, but I've got the health of my kids to consider. Well have to pick up our discussion of "Animal Farm" at a later date.

I urge the rest of you to follow my lead and stay safe. And if you happen to be among the last survivors, forced by desperation (or curiosity) into cannibalism, remember: don't eat the gooey ones. Those could make you sick.