My Stimulus Package is NSFW

For most of us, these are uncertain economic times. They are even more uncertain economic times for people like myself who have no practical understanding of economics past the complexity me-directly-handing-someone-money-in-exchange-of-something. And even in those cases, I teeter on the brink of madness should I accidentally consider the abstraction of money, monetary theory in general, Marxian valorization or currency as an expression of labor value. For the sake of my own sanity, I have been careful to occasionally maintain my psyche with a steady diet of Adam Sandler movies and the occasional tire-iron to the temple in order to keep my faculties dull and inexact. I remember when I bought my first house, I would have stripped myself naked and run screaming into the desert to live a short, very hot ascetic life were it not for the heavenly intervention of Billy Madison.

I took the kids to see that Bedtime Stories during the winter and that got me through the last part of the presidential transition, but here I am now, high and dry and Sandler-free, with only my trusty lug-wrench between me and the Poe-like crumbling of my rational self instigated by the ravenesque caw of the Nightly News.

I know I'm supposed to have strong feelings about AIG and TARP and toxic assets and Tim Geithner and a laundry list of other things that have to do with money and whatever. But I just can't do it. I can't. All I can do is wait for Brian Williams to announce the resumption of Happy Good Times so I can show people my new iPhone without feeling embarrassed.

Oh, and I got a new iPhone. I figured with the threat of losing my job, then finding another one to transition to at a 25% pay cut, now was the time to lay out several hundreds of dollars for a device I don't need, complete with a regular monthly increase in cellular service provider fees so I can take advantage of all the functions of said device.

Like I said, economics? Not really my strong suit. I just want to feel good right now, and spending money I don't have on shit I don't need helps me do that. If we all had attitudes like that, I think we'd be on our way to sorting this mess out.

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Unrelated, RIP Flight of the Conchords. I may have posted this before, but if you have time, please enjoy:



Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?