Alienation of Man from Electronic Instant Publishing Medium

Number of resumes submitted: 181,226 (rough estimate)
Number of responses: 1
Number of responses from jobs I actually want: 0
Number of resumes submitted to jobs I don't actually want: 147,908
Number of ideas I had for 'number of ideas' list to start this post: 4
Number of days since last blogpost: 12
Previous record longest number of days between blogposts: A lot. Like 11 months. Suck it up.
Number of jobs actually lost in the interim by me: 0
Number of children sold on the Mexican black market in order to keep me in the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed: 0
Number of years minimum sentence for admitting in a public forum selling a child on the black market: Not sure, but probably a lot.
Number of times I've said to myself in the last 12 days "Man, I have to remember to write something on the blog": 811
Number of games of Civilization IV played during free time I could have been blogging: 4
Amount of guilt felt as a result of video game focus at the expense of blog, family and other useless resume sending out, expressed as a folksy combination number/word: Umpteen. (Only just beat out "Eleventy")
Number of episodes of Flight of the Conchords watched since last blogpost: 2
Number of hours spent working on my New Zealand accent since last blogpost: 6
Number of different ways of pronouncing vowels between New Zealand English and Regular American: All of them. (Or as they say: "Ohl af thim.")
Number of bad/cheap blog ideas executed in this tired-ass make-up post-for-the-sake-of-posting post: Subjective. But more than 7.

Now that's we've had a look at the metrics, let's go ahead and check the scoreboard for the game in progress:

Semi-anonymous blogger pretentiously named after Romans: 0
Obamaconomy: 1

Discouraging, but it's still early doors, as the English perplexingly say. We're looking to pull one back before half time.

I take comfort in the realization that that's only the score based on rational data and observable fact. You know who else is keeping score, the score I prefer? Jesus. And I know I'm winning there. Not because Jesus tells me (because that would make me a fucking loon) but because Jesus loves me. This I know. For the Bible tells me so. That's weak sauce, seeing as I'm never actually mentioned in the Bible (although that Pontius guy's name is Roman-y like mine), but when you factor in that Jesus hates capitalism, I figure I'm well ahead. I'm going to gets mine. It's like Jesus says: From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.