The Innocents

Let me just say up front: I think it's a bad thing to murder children. I want to make that as clear as I can possibly make it. I'm worried that later you'll think "Hmm, I think I see the point he's trying to make, but I can't be sure unless I can cobble together a better picture of his position on child murder," so I'm saving us all some time. Don't wonder. In my book, it's definitely something to avoid. Even if you're pretty sure you can get away with it.

I put that last caveat in not because I have any concrete plans or by way of legally-actionable, court-admissable confession. It's just that I've spent some time in Social Awkwardness Jail over the last couple of weeks because I don't have an opinion about this Caylee Anthony thing.

The conversations all start the same, with the tsk and the head-shake and the "Can you believe...?" For the record, no, I can almost never believe. Especially if we're only work acquaintances. Whatever you say that follows, no, in fact, I can hardly believe that such a thing could have occurred in any universe. If I nod long enough and say something like "Man, isn't that just the way?" I can get back to my desk way faster than I would were I to engage in even the slightest hint of critical pushback or even minimal engagement.

Usually it's something blandly tolerable like ...the outcome of a sporting event of some note. Or ...the extremity and/or notable inoffensiveness of the current weather conditions. Those are safe because then people are really only just looking for a walk-by affirmation anyway. I'm happy to distribute those when I can. They cost me nothing. Well, apart from time. And it's not much time. Yes, it's irretrievable in the zero-sum, linear progression of finite existence, nudging me one step closer to inevitable death trapped in a meaningless bubble of irrelevancy and discomfort beyond my control. But I'll feel less awkward next time I see you in the corridor than I would had I blindly brushed past you as I so desperately wanted to, so, you know... fair trade.

But when people have been watching "the news," with all the implied pre-digested outrage, and are trolling for a position for something as heinous as child murder, well, you have to put in a little bit more effort. Even if--and this is important--even if you know nothing about the merits of the case.

Have I watched a minute of the trial coverage? I have not. In fact, I have made a concerted and increasingly strenuous effort to avoid it completely. It stalked me through most of the news outlets and basic cable channels I'm known to casually peruse, so there was no small amount of tacking and plotting going on to avoid the shoals of Child Murder Television. I'm an American in 2011. There's a lot of competition these days for my depression attention. I really don't feel a strong desire to go seeking out new sources of despair.

The obligation remains, however. I feel like there is room to make a sophisticated point: this woman was accused of horribly murdering (I'm rethinking the adjective already... is there a non-horrible option?) her defenseless child. There is a trial. The outcome is acquittal. Can I believe it? Turns out I can. Especially when I know nothing of the circumstances. Was it a clean acquittal? Don't know. Prosecutorial incompetence? Purely circumstantial evidence? Jury tampering? Insanity? Demonic possession? Self-defense? Absolutely no idea. There are a thousand ways a person might not be convicted of something, up to and including non-guilt. It seems reasonable. But if I get "Can you believe..." and don't come back with the head-shake and the tsk, I get the very strong impression that I'm somehow perceived as being pro-child murder.

This is where I refer you very quickly back to the beginning of this piece. I will restate: Fully, 100% anti-child-murder, I am. AND STILL I have no opinion about the outcome of this case. It is possible both things are simultaneously true.

And before you get started, don't bother: I already know what it says about me that I didn't put the flag out on the 4th of July, too. See, I'm more than used to having my actions imply sentiment. You won't get a long treatise out of me about that, though. I'm pretty comfortable being a presumed terror-loving communist. Child murder though, that's where I have to draw the line.