Things I've been able to do/accomplish since becoming a Separated Person:
1. Went to an actual museum. With pictures and statues and everything. No interactive displays or shows about the science of boogers or whatever.
2. Ate in a non-chain, totally unthemed restaurant.
3. Had multihour uniterrupted telephone conversations.
4. Watched Cinemax late night programming on the big TV downstairs. At full volume. Way less sexy that way, by the by.
5. Indoor skydiving (that's a real thing).
6. Stayed out all night.
7. Woke up in a strange bed. Not oddly configured, I mean unfamiliar to me. And no, it was in no way affiliated with law enforcement or corrections.
8. Cookies for dinner.
9. Fell asleep reading of an afternoon (note: get more interesting books)
10. Lights on. Will not elaborate further. But they were.
11. Eaten Thai food (very nice)
12. Driven places without specific destinations in mind.
13. Gotten in and out of Costco in 10 minutes down only $30.
There's plenty more, but I'm afraid if my kids ever read this as it is, they'll get the wrong idea. It's not that I like it when they're gone per se, but it is interesting to note that there exists a world that includes no reference to homework or Pokemon or any kind of animation. I'm sure if I present it properly and with the right therapist, they'll understand.
Note: for those new here, no, I was never a conjoined twin. Separated as in marriage. As you were.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
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5 comments:
jesus, i feel depressed.
you and SJ (not together, obviously, separately) are out there getting all kinds of action, and here I sit, youthful and totally single and unimpeded by any children at all, being completely and totally unlaid.
i am wistfully wishing *I* could wake up in a strange bed....
but you know what? despite my miserable envy, I'm pretty happy for you. because it sounds like you're doing all right. maybe even better than all right.
Sounds very much like my life while I'm travelling for work, including the whole therapist angle. Although, you didn't mention peaches, and I have no opportunity for lights on (or off) action.
Well, considering that my meals are sometimes at Interstate truck stops, maybe I do have the opportunity, just not the interest.
KnK, if it weren't for the temporal dysjunct, we could start the rumor that Pops is Timberlake.
KnK: I don't really have an answer for you, although I am trying. These type posts aren't me painting a creepy clown smile on a tragedy, but that doesn't mean it's all birthday cake and handjobs either. Did I just make clowns even more gross? I may have.
Kay-Z: For the record, no, I am not boning SJ. I don't think she even LIKES truck stops.
Maybe "Not boning SJ" should be No. 14. Oh, but then that wouldn't be right because this is supposed to be a list of good stuff.
Yeah, but that's something almost everyone is not doing. Wait, almost everyone is not doing that, right? It's not just me?
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