Viktor Orbán, Character Witness

I felt like last week it was OK to take a few steps back into some dopey pop culture as we were in a pretty natural lull with regard to the things otherwise forcefully preoccupying the conscious parts of my brain, mainly the 2024 presidential election and some rolling health issues of undetermined (probably fine) severity.

There's an old Ray Romano bit (before he got all the TV money and became a full-time recreational golf dork AND a surprisingly good actor appearing in more serious stuff) where he says you worry about a new pain or sensation, but you're relieved if you can feel it or recreate it on the other side of your body. I'm using the same logic to keep me off of too much dangerous false confidence after Kamala Harris dragged Donald Trump around by his ass in front of 65 million viewers two nights ago in Philadelphia. Is it always cathartic to watch a smart person stand across from a delusional stupid person and tell them to their face (in semi-polite American political-debate-talk) that they are delusional and stupid? Sure it is. But intellectually humiliating Donald Trump isn't really a feat. I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade, but he got dog-walked by Hillary Clinton in 2016 and that didn't end great. The effect is so similar, you can even see the exact same response (accusations of opponents wearing a wireless earpiece) all three times Trump has been the nominee.

Trump getting dominated in a debate is so expected, the one time it didn't happen, the entire electorate freaked out and fired the incumbent nominee.

Again, not trying to minimize (I'm capable of feeling joy, I really am! I'll publish the contents of my dream journal as an attachment), it just takes time for these kind of blows to crystallize into electoral polling results, so we're in the fuzzy limbo of wondering if and when this materializes into a Harris bump.

In the meantime, I just get to live with a bit more anxiety, but that's as normal as anything anymore. A few weeks ago, I started my annoying mental and physical health journey of subconsciously reacting badly to news that is probably no big deal at all. My doctor heard a heart murmur. Just to bring the info out in case anyone else has experience anything similar, after that I've had a lot of tension and tightness that floats through my chest, abdomen and throat, but that seems like 99% more likely to be related to anxiety and GERD rather than any actual heart thing. The fact that it started IMMEDIATELY AFTER hearing the words "heart murmur" doesn't feel like a coincidence. Unless I developed some kind of heart disease exactly at the moment the doctor put the stethoscope to my chest, I'm most likely fine.

Since then, I've been seen by my therapist (helped a lot), had an EKG at my primary care doctor's office (normal) and a scheduled echocardiogram at a cardiologist's office. I have my consultation appointment with the cardiologist one month from today. In the meantime, my body has decided to prepare for the worst by going back to the start of all this with the chest tightness and insomnia (which were finally going away). At 50, my subconscious has decided to cosplay as an 80-year-old, I guess just to get the practice reps in? But I should take some comfort in that as 80 isn't what 80 used to be. Hell, at that age, I could even be president.

And just to leave you on another cliffhanger, also in this same intervening period: I got a cat. Not for eating, I mean just to have around the house. Well, I won't say for sure "not for eating," we'll see how things go. Right now I live in the middle of a ring of active wildfires. We haven't really bonded fully yet and sometimes needs must.