I tested negative for COVID for the first time this past Sunday morning with a home test I paid for, then tested negative again Monday evening with a FREE test I got in the mail that day from Joe Biden personally. He cares about my health, he wins primaries despite not being on the ballot at all... sure, he's still older than Methuselah's* uncle's really old friend, but maybe there's some magic in there after all. My grandpa used to be able to make a quarter appear from behind your ear. Old people can do stuff. All he has to do is repeat the same trick four trillion times and he can fund the government without having to worry about Republican votes in the House.
The point is, I'm here, breathing without assistance. The cough that whipped my ass last time I had this shit has not yet materialized, but I'm still somewhat pessimistic. There's a little tightness and the occasional necessary chest clearing, but nothing persistent or intrusive. The main issue is the energy reserves seem to be set at about a maximum of 45%. Like I feel fine puttering around with my normal daily activities,** but there will be occasional moments out of nowhere when the urge to simply lean against whatever is close to hand and shut my stupid, insubordinate eyes is overwhelming. The goal for most of this endeavor is to avoid having that happen while driving.
Driving hasn't been an issue though as I've mostly seen fit to stay home. I've just decided to roll over my vacation mode to sickness mode to recovery mode. I'm not getting a lot done in conventional terms, but I am most of the way through Atlanta on Hulu, so I am at least doing my part as a consumer. I pay extra for the no-commercials tier, so I know I really could be doing more. Luckily I still watch sports, so I do still contribute by consenting to be passively sold things I don't need during NFL time outs. Like real patriots do.
I did have a job interview this week, which counts as activity. It sort of made me nervous, but luckily those types of human interactions have really come into their own for those of us who are lazy, introverted or (in my happy circumstance) some combination of both. To be clear, I have a job that I like just fine right now, it's just that there happens to be a couple of openings in the same building I've been working in for 17 years, in the same agency I work for, just in civil service rather than on the contracting side. So basically it's an opportunity to do essentially the same work with the same people, for a bit less money but with the possibility of a pension. Not entirely a no-brainer, but just applying seemed like the right idea, then we'll see where it goes from there. If they end up offering it to me, then I can see if I can negotiate in some of that filthy public-funded lucre. I'm thinking of asking for one of those fancy $400 hammers.
But I will say this is the first job interview I've ever done wearing a Darth Vader bath robe and flannel pajama pants. Not only was it remote, it was phone-only (no video). I didn't want to disrespect the formality of the process though, so I did wear a tie.
I have no idea how the interview went. It's weird to be interviewed by people you've worked with for your entire professional adult life, asking literal pro forma questions keyed toward people who are totally unfamiliar with the work. It's hard to hear "Are you familiar with this type of work?" and not respond with your first instinct "bish, you see my head sticking out of that cubicle every goddamned day."
The agenda for now? More staying home. The government will decide when they decide and they'll let me know when they let me know. As I said, I've got a job I don't mind currently, with people I like, doing work that is probably valuable enough, or at least it lends itself to letting me pretend with some plausibility. I had alerts set up on LinkedIn and Zip Recruiter for a while, but I think I'm going to turn them off for now. Even if I don't get this job, the bath-robe-and-necktie job interview process has set a bar I'm not sure any private sector company can match. Why settle?
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*I guess the Bible says Methuselah was 969 years old (or in internet language: "nine-nice"), which is either a true miracle or that "969" was the Bronze Age equivalent of saying "bajillion." Like what did they even need a number bigger than 50 for back then?
**Job stuff, making up songs to sing to the cat, pre-stretching out the head holes in all my T-shirts, very normal daily things normals do.
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