Woody Guthrie Was A Communist

A lot of people on the left, and even some in the center with a distaste for drama or a well-founded suspicion of anyone who goes in public with a face comprised at least 80% of concealer, Trump is anathema, a nonstarter nonpareil, a thing they want more of in their lives like they want shingles or another Shazam! movie.

Even on the right, as the field for the 2024 GOP presidential nomination starts to clog with the usual amounts of detritus, a sociopolitical fatberg made of busted up dog-whistles, little particles of atomized NASCAR tires, red hats and Aqua-Net, the Trump-skeptical mumbles have graduated all the way into murmurs. Any even vaguely contra-Trump statements are of course still immediately denied when re-asked for clarification in any kind of direct follow-up question, but in the stubborn way of true things, they cannot be entirely hand-waved away as "liberal media lies." The pushback is as measurable and real as a measurable thing can be (as in: not zero), but these are very privileged people exulting in an impossible and silly ambition (to be president, an aspiration that only takes real sickos) talking about someone cast out and adrift from that very thing almost three years ago now, so less speaking truth to power than power fantasy speaking truth to power fantasy. It's worth remembering there's only one nomination to win here, so all but one of these people is putting it all on the line and are going to walk away with only the Ted Cruz Memorial Participation Trophy to show for it. Some real courage on display!

It would seem daunting to cross Trump, especially in defeat, as you risk everything for almost no shot at what you're aiming for but guaranteed to cross the famously aggro-philic GOP base, which since 2016 has been animated (in the same way Ophiocordyceps unilaterlis animates an ant) by Trump and fanatical Trump love. Sure, it hasn't really manifested itself in electoral results since that one popular-vote-loss-but-electoral-college win in 2016, and even has been a hindrance to electability in the interim, but if we're going by the stupidest merch sales alone, Trump is still definitely a force.

Overall though, maybe the non-Trump candidates are feeling emboldened by the fizzling of the in-person crowd presence Trump used to be able to boast about, not just in size but in potentially murderous intent. After all, Jan. 6, 2021, was a very public response to Trump at the point of being the most threatened: on the brink of losing his ability to say he was a very important person in public and actually have people believe him.

This week when he was threatened again, indicted and arraigned for being a total fucking idiot... his people stayed away. And this was not the first time. It seems, ironically, that Jan. 6, the coup attempt that represented a complete on-the-day failure of law and order to almost the ultimate degree, has ended up being a point of reference that makes all the very, very tough, tough guys stay home out of fear of law and order. It's complicated, but a long-standing obsession with things that literally do not exist, like "crisis actors" and capital-A "Antifa," coupled with aggressive and successful prosecution of Jan. 6 criminals have put it in the heads of these unshakeable defenders of real American ideals, cut from the same cloth as the original Revolutionary War patriots, that maybe a better tactic to own the libs would be to hang out and wait for the new season of Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan to drop on Amazon.

In the same way that nobody was more successfully terrorized by the terrorists on 9/11 than growly, finger-pointy Dick Cheney and all the other ones who supported panic-flail lashing out in the form rolling back civil liberties for Americans in the name of "security" and a full-scale invasion of two countries, one of which was completely uninvolved in any 9/11 terrorism, nobody has proven to be less defiant in the face of "political persecution" than these freedom-fighting liberty boys. Every time the "oppression" they identify ramps up in the form of prosecutors doing their regular jobs prosecuting obvious crimes some dopes broadcast themselves doing on Periscope or were turned in by their moms, the smaller the crowds get, the more pathetic the "protests," the more cowed they become. A cynic would say maybe they don't actually believe what they say they believe; maybe it's an act for clout and status among a vanishing minority of politically overcaffeinated simps and/or grifters, but that would be goading. The smarter position would be one of gratitude: hey man, let's all stay home and take it easy. The cop in the street on the day who doesn't understand the irony of having a Punisher decal on his vest will take it easy on you, but after that, some libtard on Facebook is going to rat you out to the FBI or your boss just because you weren't worried enough on the day that there would be cameras catching you standing, untroubled, next to some Nazis. Embrace it, man. Stay home. Have a chicken pot pie and a Tab. It beats a knock on the door from the feds any day.