School-age taunts, of course, are built to label, separate and ostracize. It's easy to note as an adult that all childhood behavior is selfish and inwardly focused, so even the bullies and the taunters are simply acting out an impulse to define themselves as part of a social group; to identify and practice recognizing something different and undesirable as different and undesirable, and then loudly (sometimes violently) making it known "hey everybody! I'm not one of the bad things we don't like! Not like this kid here, the one I'm pointing at and about to throw this half-finished chocolate milk carton at. TAKE THIS, QUEER!" These are obviously made-up, random examples. I'm sorry I ruined the suspension of disbelief by suggesting a kid might waste half a chocolate milk. I will attempt to do better.
The roots of kids taunting other kids obviously comes from the example of their parents. Dad suggests he doesn't like a group or an occurrence. Kid internalizes immediately that he would like to NEVER EVER EVER be lumped into any of those social subgroups or happenings. Immediately goes to school to practice declaring such to all who will listen, and many who will not without the aid of a headlock.
The adult prejudices of course are rooted in their own childhood, their own experience, making for a clear set of circumstances to perpetuate generational loops of violence, abuse and racism. As the language shifts, though, I think it also points to other social changes outside of just child groups, but among people in this country in general as we shift again and again the definition of what is deviant, what is worthy of singling out for opprobrium and censure. Even as recently as the 1980s and 1990s, the general language of taboo and disgust was around moral acts, which is to say things circumscribed by norms and practices* as generally laid out by a Judeo-Christian ethico-moral code. The list of things that could get you outed, with real social and even financial consequences, were things like homosexuality, participation in kink (BDSM, what have you...), adultery or ANY outward sign of a functioning female libido. Kids in my day would talk in hushed tones about the existence of the mythical Nymphomaniac, which is to say the same thing we casually refer to now as a chick who is DTF, NBD. Women who wanted to have sex were sluts. People who cheated on their spouses were disqualified from political office or any public life. And don't get us started on the gays. We could be literally here all night.**
Starting as recently as about 2005 (after the gay-baiting, dispiriting, cynical campaign of 2004), though, all the way through today and the #MeToo movement, I think what we're seeing is a massive tectonic shift in what is normal and what is deviant. The recognition of gay rights has accelerated at a blinding pace over the last decade-plus. Transgender recognition and rights are trending a bit more slowly, but the fact that they're trending at all--the punchline of all the cruel punchline minorities--is a miracle on its face.
Deviancy by its definition is going to be variable because it is made up of the things accepted by a society, the most liquid of non-liquid things. It's an unsailable ocean of conflicting currents and waves that only reaches any kind of decisive equilibrium by the occasional accidental resonance of all its competing frequencies, which dissipates just as fast.
But now, the shamed and cornered (for the minute. For the glorious, glorious minute) are those who exploit people weaker than themselves--physically, professionally, emotionally--for their own satisfaction. Think of the structures in place to protect that for basically all time up until about five minutes ago. It's not that hard when you consider the predominance of male-ness, specifically white maleness that is free to express itself with the least likelihood of risk, was the thing most prized and celebrated. This was when men were men, even the drag queens (during work hours).
The de-privileging of the male self lends itself to a reassessment of norms. Now the deviance is no longer religious morality, but it's about that power differential. We're edging toward a full triumph of consent. The deviant's sin is now harm to another human being not specifically negotiated or agreed to beforehand: emotional, physical or both.
Seeing the toppling of the icons has been thrilling. And knowing the response is cumulative and hopefully, when the lawsuits start coming down, reparative has been immensely satisfying.
And maybe this is where we give accidental credit to Donald Trump, the only type of credit he is qualified to get anywhere anymore. This is someone who is the epitome of the old-school tropes of dominance and hedonism and the hypocrisy of both in the Judeo-Christian worldview. We all look at him and we (well, a vast majority of us) and say: nope, that's is DEFINITELY not what I want, not for me or my kids or my spouse or my dog. Maybe the movement and the marches don't come if we have a lady president.
Don't get me wrong, I'd trade ALL OF EVERYTHING to have President Hillary over President Toxic Avenger, but maybe Susan Sarandon was right and he is "bringing the revolution" faster than Hillary ever could. But it makes me a little sad to know that it took someone this overtly disgusting to make us throw up all over ourselves so we could take stock and start to clean up.
---
*Or at least the spoken norms. We know exactly what you weirdos were up to when you got away on your own.
**Want to hear the gayest conversation about gay sex and all its varieties, real and fictional? Hang out on a playground and eavesdrop on some 12-year-olds. Or in a sports bar next to a table of divorced dudes in their 50s. I'm pretty sure in both cases it's a lot of vocalization to check and see if other people would think it's OK, because you know one of those dudes 100% is.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment