To the left, to the left

It's almost 11:30 pm here as I start this, so I'm getting to this late. I'm worn out and a bit emotionally raw still, so this may be shorter than usual. I'm in such a state, I'm afraid if I go on too long some poetry may even leak out. I'll do my best to fend it off, but you've been warned.

I was out on a school night with my boys seeing Kingsman: The Golden Circle, a title that bothers me since it really should be Kingsmen not Kingsman seeing as there are several dudes, but they're insisting, so, fine. Also Colin Firth is somehow in it, even though in the last one [SPOILERS] shot him in the [SPOILERS] right after the fucking batshit crazy [SPOILERS SPOILERS] scene. But it's ostensibly a comic book movie, and we know that in comics, nobody stays dead except Uncle Ben.

I may do a full review in future,* but for now I'm preoccupied with a) being newly single, for the first time in many years and b) being on the brink of casting off one of my children into the quasi-adult airlock leading eventually to self-determination that is the American public university.

The first thing I've only been trying to wrap my head around for the last 72 hours or thereabouts, but it all came about without a lot of shock or scandal, so I'm in a fairly positive space. On this side of 40, all I'm really looking for is to avoid any creeping bitterness or cynicism. For dudes who hit all the demographic markers I do, that usually ends up looking like latent--or worse, decidedly non-latent--misogyny. There are no women responsible for my predicament. Heck, I'm going to have some Saturdays free to get virtually beaten up by strangers across the globe from the comfort and safety of my couch. Whatever frustrations I have I can always work out by throwing my PS4 controller at my innocent and unmarked walls, which seems healthy and cathartic to me.

The second thing, my boy moving out, I've had a lot more time to get used to, obviously. People in this situation like to point out how fast time seems to move, but look, it's legitimately been 18 years since he was born. I know, I was there, I lived all the days. It's not that I'm glad he's leaving, far from it, but it's not like it snuck up on me. Dude is like six feet tall these days. He's not sneaking up on anybody.

There's more to say about all these issues (and myriad others), but I'm spent. I'm going to lean on the indulgence of the vast and loyal readership to permit me to get away with this disjointed and scratched-out piece. I'm also going to say to you all: if you know any single ladies, now's the time.