The Nut-Tree of Liberty

U.S. military spending for the last fiscal year is somewhere between half and two-thirds of a trillion dollars. We maintain bases literally all over the world, including in recent combat zones like Afghanistan and Iraq; as legacies of last-century occupation in Germany, Japan, South Korea and Cuba; and in positions of opportunity to rapidly deploy from England, Italy and tiny Diego Garcia. We even have troops and equipment deployed to current or potential flashpoints like Syria, Libya, Turkey, Yemen, Egypt...

And on top of all that, the services have to contend with the post-traumatic stress amongst over-deployed veterans of tragically unwinnable wars, shocking substandard overall care (if not abuse) for those with ANY kind of injury or illness, a serious security issue at domestic military bases and a plague of sexual predation of service members amongst themselves.

There's kind of a lot going on.

But no, I'm sure what they're focusing on is invading some dude's ranch-style single-family lean-to in Middlesticks, North Carolina. But you were totally ready for them, not-surprising-looking white men! If only they hadn't pussied out and sent in the FBI instead, whom apparently you were not prepared to thwart, presumably because of their lack of tanks and their surprise stealth tactic of asking regular questions, you likely would have succeeded in your plan to thwart the world's largest military. You know, the one equipped with fighter jets and intercontinental ballistic missiles. Them you were ready for.

These are our Tea Party Patriots, the ones who will defend us from the tyranny of secret plots of the military to have regularly scheduled symposia, conventions and walkthroughs so they can hide in plain site, chipping away at our freedoms by testing communication equipment and marching sometimes. The only reasonable response is to randomly fire shots at service members before driving away. You know, like George Washington did.