And a Little Child Will Lead Them (to Fontana, Apparently)

OK, so the Benghazi thing continues to be an inexhaustible source of misses, despite the best efforts of local boy professional camera-face and auto theft hobbyist Darrell Issa.

The promised Obamacare debacle keeps on stubbornly refusing to materialize, not only by failing to murder anyone as promised but in fact by defiantly giving record numbers of people medicine to keep them alive longer. This is typical Obama cynicism, dressing up what sounds like a great piece of long-overdue legislation and exploiting it for what it really is: a bald-faced political payout to swing voters to himself and the Democrat party. Just because you're paying them in preventative MRIs or dialysis doesn't mean it's not a bribe.

Maybe there's a way to make this Syria-Iraq thing his fault, but you know, that's foreign policy stuff that might take a long time to develop and even longer to explain... Maybe we'll get lucky again and some high-level national security people will willfully ignore direct warnings of terrorist threats resulting in some kind of horrific human disaster and THEN we can whip out the ole Book of Military Blank Checks, but until then, people are just going to keep watching other people jumping face-first into padded platforms. Best to wait until September when people start aggressively not giving a shit about original television programming.

Hang on though... what about the browns? No, not the regular ones, the other ones. The ones who don't talk English like us. Maybe that will finally throw O'Bummer for a loop? You know how he goes around being interested in people and what happens to them. That's got to present itself as an exploitable weakness eventually!

Admittedly, maybe picking on busloads of defenseless and abandoned children isn't the best as far as optics go. But you don't pick at the oozing sore you wish for. You pick at the oozing sore you've already got. Or I guess you make yourself a new sore, but then you have to wait a couple of days before it goes sufficiently oozy and we're dealing with a 24-hour news cycle here,* people. Nobody has time.

I have to say I'm super chuffed to see that, in addition to Riverside County's own Darrell Issa and the Benghazi stuff, in Murrieta, a town neighboring his constituency, my people have rushed out to be front and center of all the televisuals of red-faced, screaming adults staring down and intimidating away the looming scourge of orphan children in dire need.

Sadly though we don't win for the crazy. We're never going to be able to match Texas. All we've got are some lame signs and misguided indignation. Texans have vowed to give warnings in a language the children don't understand before then shooting them. To be fair I guess I should say they didn't explicitly say they meant just the children. In the interest of due process, one assumes these volunteer justice-bringers will remember to check for papers on the bodies of the people they've already shot.

Congressional Republicans won't be falling for the same trap as Obamacare though, oh no. They're not going to sit around and just let the president do someting. Sure, they've hectored him into some kind of action, but when he offers funds for the effort they want, they are of course immediately skeptical:

Republicans, who have pressed the White House to do more to tackle the crisis, gave the proposal a wary reception.“The House is not going to just rubber-stamp what the administration wants to do," said Representative Mario Diaz-Balart of Florida, who is a member of Speaker John Boehner's border crisis task force.

Manufacture crisis. Demand action. Receive proposal. REFUSE ALL ACTION! Obama can say "This isn't theater" all he wants, but that just proves how out of touch he is. Everything is theater. Take away the theater and what are you left with? That's right: government.

And that's straight out of the liberal-socialist handbook: more government. All you can do is shake your head. No really, I mean that's literally all you can do. Everything else is probably treason.**

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*I feel like I just dated myself. Are we down to 12-hour cycles? Six? How fast does that twitter thing run?

**Exception: I think we all agree that the last place to send buses full of unsupervised children is to the U.S. Council of Catholic Bishops. Hopefully we aren't already too late.