And The Nominee Is...

It's difficult to find the right words to say when we find ourselves living in a country where a certain percentage of its voting populace are not only indifferent but actually enthusiastic about the idea of military forces deployed on the streets of an American city during peacetime. I'm not even talking about the "logic" of it since the Department of Justice itself just this last January told us that violent crime in DC is at a 30-year low, that's a point beyond which rational discussion is even merited, it's all so transparently obvious. Sometimes when you have all the power, you do things just to do them, or, in this case, because people are asking too many questions about your time in the company of a noted and notorious sex offender and his sex offender lady companion. Logic is for chumps.

Look, I'm not suggesting a cover-up or a conspiracy, to be clear. A cover-up would require an attempt to do something out of the public view and, as far as I can tell, the animating philosophy of a Trump Administration is that there is no such thing as "out of the public view." That's soft-boy Democrat shit. Policy discussions and plan formations and negotiation with foreign governments and whole governmental initiatives happen in real time, off the cuff, in rolling insane rambles, in front of cameras and with live microphones, or really, otherwise, what would be the point of doing them at all? The reaction is the juice. The only thing I can think Donald Trump has ever wanted to do out of the public eye is engage in sexual trysts of varying levels of legality and absolutely no levels of morality at the organization or even in the presence of his best friend Jeffrey Epstein, but there are so many pictures and videos of them hanging out and being chummy, I can't even say that with confidence. Honestly, he's so locked in to the idea of immediate feedback, all of this could have been avoided if his parents were broke. Then, instead of going into real estate like his dad, he would have taken some college improv classes and gotten it out of his system. Well, for a while. He still would have been him, which means there's no way those theater kids would have accepted him and all that direct rejection would have probably led us right back to where we are now, except I guess he'd know what a Harold is.

And where we are now is that even the massaging (sorry) of the Epstein story is happening in obvious ways right out in the public view. This should be good news for the Nixon apologists, but no. It's not that his crimes will be re-contextualized as "I guess not that bad really" on this new sliding scale that apparently has no bottom, it's more that he'll be seen as less of a crook and more of a snivelly little bitch who didn't have the balls to really go for it all the way. Really, you tried to cover it up? And you got taken down by journalists?! How fucking quaint. Somebody's out there trying to do crime according to the rules. That's what happens when your racketeer president is a Quaker. I hear he even loved his wife. What a fucking normie.

Things are weird and they're just going to get weirder. The number of citizens who are going to be directly frightened by people whose salaries their taxes pay is just going to go up, which is (just to understate it by ten thousand percent) horrifying. And he'll brag about it when he runs the TV show at the Kennedy Center honors after naming himself the host. The whole thing will be gold-plated and tacky and the jokes will make you want to die (because the only people writing for him will be straight white Republican men, who are all JD Vance-levels of funny at best), but honestly, fuck him, let him have it. I know it's some kind of institution, but if you let him be that theater kid he never had the confidence or talent or empathy or insight or creativity or presence or wit or courage to be, maybe it'll keep him busy. At this point, what we're trying to do is run out the clock at least until November 2026 midterms, but (because I have no confidence in Democrats running a competent national campaign) more likely January 2029. Keep him busy. He wants a Nobel Peace Prize so embarrassingly bad, you guys. Let him have it. Hell, give him one every year. Just bury him in awards. Put him in every sports hall of fame. Make him an EGOT. You know he'll run to each and every ceremony. If it's that or, like, sending the 101st Airborne into Philadelphia, it does seem like the more palatable option.