Grow Up

Yeah, so it's been almost four months since the election. If the election were a baby,* it would be cutting a few teeth and maybe even rolling over. OK, I thought the baby analogy was going to be a stronger example of growth, but neither of those things are particularly impressive on the scale of human accomplishment. Seriously, think of all the things a human could do or has done. Way up at the top you're going to have "walked on the moon," which is a group of 12 humans total, or things equally impressive like win three million more votes than the other guy and still not be president.

I admit it, the last one kind of stings. But that's a one-woman category. It's more than your stupid baby has done, that's for goddamned sure.

But if the ELECTION were a baby, back to the metaphor, it would still be a largely useless mewling, puking, lolling, inarticulate blob of anti-endeavor embarrassing us all with its minuscule and prosaic ambitions like talking or lunch. Bleh, I take it back, maybe the metaphor is too apt.

I've been advised for a while now--starting I think when Hillary wasn't declared the winner of Florida's electoral votes the minute the polls closed on election night--that I should "move on" or "let it go" or "shut the fuck up and get over it, you libtard," depending on whom I forgot to unfriend from facebook that particular week. There are a couple of reasons why I haven't:

1) I am a lefty, cucky squish, so: pathology!

2) No way I'm cutting myself off from all that sweet protest money.

3) Fuck that guy.

I get that Point 3 is not particularly interesting or productive or intelligent or new, but then again neither is authoritarian inhumanity. We've reached the point now, even in this historically non-productive first month of a presidency, with zero legislative initiatives proposed or passed reflecting the presidential agenda and attempting to rule solely by executive order for NO FUCKING REASON when the House and Senate are both majority GOP, that we can to a certain degree disregard the things the man says--or rather, dismiss it as bullshit, as it disturbingly convincingly is--and use the resulting action to make an honest judgment of who we've got as president.

The other thing I hear is that I should "give him a chance." To do what? The horrible things he promised? That sounds like an awful idea. Cranky bitterness, I choose you!

I guess what this post amounts to is a warning to my reader(s) that things might stay political for a little while. I'll try to keep it light by mixing in the occasional dick joke, but sometimes, even those can be hard.

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*Which, let's be honest, it sort of was