Orange Dawn

I guess a month of strident and pernicious worry about the outcome of the election turned out to be not only warranted, but not fucking nearly enough.

It took me awhile on Election Night to really twig what was going on. All I knew for sure was that the tone of the commentariat on the many channels and websites I was flipping through (I had three screens working. Seriously, I put in less effort to pay attention at the job I get paid for) was gradually making me more and more uneasy. My first reaction was to get somewhat pissy. My second, later reaction was to turn the anger on myself for not having any bourbon in the house. I knew teetotal would come back to bite me in the ass someday. My third grade teacher was right.

All we really learned from this particularly vulgar Election Night are:

1) Can this pit of despair go lower? Why, yes! Yes it can! Si, se puede!

2) Don't nobody know nothing about nothing.

All the polls missed it. The Huffington Post pollster in the days preceding got into it with Nate Silver over at fivethirtyeight, suggesting that Nate's super-low chance of winning for Hillary (only about 70% likelihood on the day before) was indefensible and anything that wasn't his own 98% likelihood of Clinton victory was not only methodologically dubious but socially and morally irresponsible. It's not just that the numbers were wrong, there was a clear emotional commitment to the error that permeated media and the punditariat.

Because I went into the contest armed with this shitty data, I was hanging in there, moreso with the many friends I was experiencing this bullshit with via text and facebook (I'm old, I get it). I was further lulled into a false sense of renewed hope when Virginia's urban areas came in late and heavy for Hillary. I convinced myself, which was not hard to do given the narrowness of the margins and the pattern of vote tallying, that this would also be the pattern in PA, MI and WI and things would be closer than we thought, but still the right outcome in the end.

So, uh... nope.

My kids happened to be with their mom that night and my lady friend was stuck working really late. I ended up over at her place late and cheered her on as she got drunk enough for both of us.

Since then I've been processing, online a lot. The hard thing is ignoring not the taunts and triumphalism of my GOP-minded friends, but the passive-aggressive condescension and sanctimony from the ones who either didn't vote or went third party because "both candidates are just as bad!" I'm getting a lot of "you should get behind President Trump" or "now is a time for unity," which... yeah, fuck that. Not in a nihilistic way, the way assholes like Susan Sarandon might employ it, but more in a this-is-still-a-two-party-system-where-one-side-exists-to-check-the-other way. I've got four years worth of fight in me. Especially if that fight is in the normal way I do it, with hastily thrown-together social media postings during commercials of football games. Prepared to be zinged, Cheeto Hitler, and zinged hard.

After the media and polling catastrophes, who is left to trust? I'll tell you who, sisters and brothers: it's just us out here. Conventional wisdom is the enemy. I mean, even look at the last election. In 2012 there was all this public soul searching about the GOP existing in an increasingly multicultural America, the conclusion of which was that there would have to be more of an effort of outreach, ESPECIALLY to Latinos.

And then four years later, the GOP nominated Latino Repellant. And he just won. Don't nobody know shit about shit.

Lastly, I cannot listen to one more variation of "well, this is what the people want, so we have to give him/it a chance." Um, no. More people voted for Hillary than for that one. In fact, I have voted in seven presidential elections now, going back to 1992 and in those seven elections, the Democrat has won the popular vote six times. This isn't about soul searching. This isn't about redefining what it means to be progressive. This is about maximizing how to make the right gains in about 10-15 counties in three or four states so they come out the right color on the electoral college map on Election Night. Four years is more than enough time to figure out how to do something that small. It should also be just enough time for most of us on the left to sober up again.

PS: I have yet to watch Hillary's concession. I know Al Gore's in 2000 was an heroic act of patriotism and I expect (and have heard) it's close to on that order. But the parts I know she has in there speaking to disappointed women and girls, I just can't yet. Today's post I recognize is a little bloodless considering. I know I haven't let it all land yet. I'm pacing myself.