Through-ball

I'm getting ready to flit off to somewhere relatively nearby but still sufficiently exotic to require jet-assisted travel. Well, "require" is a strong word. Honestly I'm just down to one podcast episode left on my iPhone and the prospect of driving northward across my home state with nothing but the scattershot, off-the-rack and pedestrianly atmosphere-bound terrestrial radio to keep me company for 5-7 hours is anathema to my digital soul. There's something about tailored and on-demand content that burrows right down into the very core, nestling tight around the heart, thriving where it's moist and warm, close to the involuntary engine that makes thinking, feeling life possible. It feels like a hug from the inside. Like a benevolent pericarditis.

I'm traveling for pleasant reasons to meet great people with a more-than-promising itinerary in an incomparably beautiful place, so I've got almost nothing to complain about, except... well...

I'm very much on board with the present cultural trend of geek ascendency, arguably starting in 2000 with the overwhelming success of the Lord of the Rings films, something as a sweaty, pasty, anglophilic pre-teen, I never thought I'd live to see. Comic books and fantasy are everywhere, culminating in the annual event I now plan most of my life around, the airing of new episodes of Game of Thrones. Now don't panic, I'm going to be home in time to see the promised epic finale of Season 4 this coming Sunday. I work very hard to maintain the personal relationships in my life, but I'm going to go ahead and assume my kids and those closest to me will still exist Monday. Even though the finale will be on my DVR, sure, that moment, that temporary warp-bubble of cultural ephemera, has only a few scant hours to sustain itself before it bursts, splattering a hot, sticky mess of OMG SPOILERZ! all over the hyperventilating interwebs.

There was a brief period of time when we all realized we had DVRs and agreed we were no longer beholden to such marketing horseshit as "Must See TV" on a Thursday night or whatever. We had struck off the shackles of the TV Guide and were now free to futz and procrastinate and then, eventually, binge-watch at our sprawled-out, otherwise-insensate leisure. And yet somehow we* have managed to reconstruct a pressing urgency of now on our televisuals consumption, if only to avoid the gross discomfort of accidentally finding out what happened on one of the THOUSANDS of unsolicited recaps and listicles blaring all across the aggregators, blogs and twitterverse. There are few things more harrowing or disheartening now than having to wade out onto the web in the interim between the airing of your show and the time you've set aside to watch. Somebody is going to try so very, very hard to get the information you don't want in front of your eyeballs. And they're not afraid to employ every twitchy, eye-catchy, epileptic GIF in the world to draw you in.

Game of Thrones is ending again, as it seems always to, and as I said, I'm all set for being able to watch it in a timely enough manner to avoid the threatened insistent spoilerage. The problem comes after: my God, what do I do when it's over?

Good news, I've already got an answer. Seamlessly, through an accident of timing, I will be able to transition my unhealthy attachments to another program, the monthlong reality game-show extravaganza known as World Cup 2014. Groups of abnormally fit men from every corner of the globe will gather in one place, don garish matching outfits and strive against one another--LIVE!--in some kind of series of skills contests for the grand prize of one smallish gold statue they all have to share and then later give back. It's all very thrilling.

How this relates to my trip is: I'm going to have to miss many of the first few episodes airing this weekend as I will be away, amongst trees and something I've been told is called "weather," communing and shit. Not that big a deal as I do make an effort to maintain my culture/real life balance,** but I'm just worried that I'll miss the introduction of some major plotlines or the establishment of some of the characters in the first act. I've only seen today's Episode 1 and we've already set up an early villain of the piece. If it turns into anything as complicated as Lannisters vs. Starks, I'm totally screwed.




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*I'm a little worried it wasn't actually "we" and somehow it was "they." They are tricksy like that.

**Mostly by not texting while driving.