Well, what are the odds that my peripatetic posting schedule would wander itself smack dab onto St. Valentine's Day? In a way it's very fitting as Valentine's Day is a celebration human romantic love and this blog is dedicated to stringing together an unfathomable series of lies in order to maintain something that doesn't stand a chance of meeting any of the needs of the parties involved, lingering on and on, bathed in scalding resentment until it boils into the briny soup of cumulative disappointment and collected tears.
Today I managed to spend no time with my Significant Other, unless we agree to understand "Significant Other" to mean "11-year-old offspring with a fever." Then yes, lots of time with that. I tried giving him the traditional Valentine's treatment by presenting him chocolate, which he threw up.
The paths to take while writing about Valentine's Day are somewhat well trodden and therefore limited. Shall I stamp and snort through another recitation about the commercial falseness of the commodification of human emotion and the perniciousness of the Advertising State wheedling its way between you and what you feel?
Or should I give you something more basically, organically appropriate? That thing you don't know you need to fully realize the day as intended? That's right: poems.
Poem #1(traditional)
Roses are red.
I have a flower allergy.
Poem #2 (haiku)
I know what you want
Today is yours, but I can't
grow a new foreskin
Poem #3 (limerick)
There once was a man with angina
Who thought he'd seen his last vagina
Defying the grave
he spent what he'd saved
On a plastic one hand-made in China
Because poetry is poetry, it is automatically a) profound, b) romantic and c) appropriate. Also, I'm obligated to point out that if you do not understand, appreciate or even like the poems presented it is because you are a Philistine. Which I don't mean in the traditional sense of being uncultured and lazy, I mean as in the precursors to modern Palestinians, so you probably have a lot going on keeping you from focusing on the quality of the slapdash poetry on some American dude's blog in any kind of detail. Once you get that Israel coexistence thing sorted out, come on back and give it another read-through. Maybe you'll change your mind. Good luck.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
2 comments:
I wanted to leave some sort of clever comment but it occurs to me that it is now Thursday, and you post on Thursdays, and you don't respond to comments on old posts that I can tell, so I figured I should get on this. But your Valentine's poems were funny! And I'm sorry I have been so complimentary lately...I'll go back to being mean next week.
PS I hope that your son is better.
It's that that I DON'T respond to posts on old comments. I have this set up to send me an email for ANY comment that I get, so I know when one comes up. It's just that I often get distracted by YouTube videos of cats fighting and FORGET to respond to the comments I actually cherish dearly. So I guess I can see how from your perspective it would LOOK like I was just not bothering to respond when in fact I INTEND to respond but forgot. Two very different things. Just wanted that on the record.
Post a Comment