A Fifth of Old Grand-dad

I always figured Baby Boomers would be the death of us. They just seemed like bad news. It's the same generation that gave us both hippies AND yuppies. These are people so overwhelmed with an overflowing cornucopia of choices in life ranging from great to no-downside-whatsoever that they decided in the end to try them all out a little at a time. It should tell us something that the only constant through all these transmogrifications has been an unflinching devotion to recreational drug use.

But, you know, at least there are more of them than there have been any other generation of people ever. And now they refuse to die fast enough, the act of ultimate selfishness from the people who gave us the Me Decade and the 1972 George McGovern campaign.

I'm still not sure about the social dynamics of the group, but it has to be oedipal. Everything done by their parents they've had to automatically reject as loudly as possible, giving the rest of us a kind of contrarian whiplash. The officially-branded Greatest Generation(TM) grew up eating nail soup and roadkill, volunteered to get shot at, came home to shitty jobs they hated and then slowly drank and smoked and chicken-fried-steaked themselves into respectable early graves. Why? All for the sake of their children. Who all seemed really pissed off about it from the beginning.

And now their final act of revenge is to l i n g e r just long enough to consume every last resource they've decided is theirs by birthright before, presumably, moving on to another planet to consume that one in turn. This last option may only apply to the Mormons and/or Scientologists.

But all is not lost. They can fight time and wear all they like, with every nefarious method at their disposal, but they've at least started to become doddering and a political afterthought. They can keep cashing the checks, but there's a wave coming up behind them and it's massive, it's brown and it's not afraid to do manual labor. That's right: Latinos. The ones who use the other side of the forms at the DMV. You know, the same place that registers them to vote in many states.

We're running out of you, old white people. But as long as you have grass that needs trimming, sheets that need changing or children to raise, the Latinos are here to stay.

Now the pivot is up to the GOP in general. The Old White People who are left, the old Boomers, can't win them a national election anymore. You can either fight a perpetual rearguard action,  a dangerous move considering what you fear most from our small but boisterous gay contingent, or you can make a strategic retreat now, regroup on better ground and turn to fight again.

Even partial drowning survivor Ann Coulter has employed her magnificent Adam's apple in the service of the cause of total capitulation in the name of brand restoration.

And OK, maybe it hasn't gone really well yet.

You have a problem with minorities, highly educated professionals and working women. Step number one? Publicly slander the highest ranking black woman in the executive branch.* Spend two straight weeks appearing on media outlets every day painting a picture wherein you only give her the options of copping to gross borderline criminal incompetence, the height of politically calculated** cynicism or treasonous collusion with terrorists.

And then you win! What a moment for John McCain. Here's a fresh new voice putting himself out there to accomplish something. When was the last time the GOP had that? It's not too early to start looking toward 2016. Although I'm not sure he'd be a big hit with even the Boomer crowd as he is almost old enough to be their dad.



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*No, not Michelle. Although that's a confirmation hearing I'd pay to watch.
**Nearly Romney-esque!