It is humbling and a little frightening to stand under the looming shadow of unbidden life change. The size of the thing, depending on the event, can be so immense as to have its own specific gravity, not only to draw in and to potentially crush, but to warp and distort the field of visible light around it. The intensity of my own impending divorce, for example, has been so consuming, so overwhelming as to make the current iteration of the Winter Olympics seem almost... trivial.
It's ridiculous to say, I know. Even with a good excuse for preoccupation, I'm vey embarrassed that I haven't been following the exploits of that one skier girl or the red-haired halfpipe whatever guy or that game with the brooms and slidey rocks. Divorce can be traumatic, but I suspect it's no excuse to hate America's athletes. Unless they come in second or below.
I haven't ignored the festivities all together. Divorce is also pretty expensive, so what I did was I took out my share of the equity in the house and bet it all on the Russian entrants in the ice dancing competition. Everyone knows the Russians always win the ice dancing because they produce the most feminine looking men, which means the reflex homophobic revulsion at seeing a man doing something called "ice dancing" in an outfit bedazzled with gold lamé tassles cut to look like tongues of flame is minimized by the lithe, healthy androgyny of the "male" participant. What seems like two women ice dancing together is way less gay than a man participating in the event at any level at any time.
For that reason, the Russians dominate. They always win. Which means I'm looking forward to knocking out my lawyer's fees, my refinancing broker's fees, my financial planner's fees, my therapy bills and the tab I'm running at The Angry Beaver gentleman's club in one stroke with my ice dancing winnings.
Hey, does anyone know how that turned out? I keep forgetting to watch.
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8 comments:
The "Angry Beaver?"
i will waiting your up date everyday also.
i like the Olympics in theory way more than in practice. I HATE the US media's coverage, which is all about how many medals each country/person has won. Having watched my fair share of Olympics on CANADIAN television, I can tell you it's not like that everywhere. In Canada, they're really, truly just proud that their curling team was there.
i'm liking your canonical literary reference blogpost titles of late, by the way. nicely done. what's next - Milton? Chaucer? something really wacky like Laurence Sterne?
My god. It's an internet miracle. Spam actually came to life on Pops' blog. Via$gra Now! Has become a commenter waiting up your date everyday.
Divorce becomes you.
Joseph: yes, it's a very classy establishment, so long as you're not allergic to latex or sawdust.
Unidentified Asian Character: You make me feel special, like a GI in Saigon with some leave time and spending money.
KnK: Canadians are afraid to succeed. Please google "queen of Canada" to see the root inferiority complex in action. And thank you for following the references.
SJ: I love that they defeat the word verification filter while being foreign. I sincerely hope they are using it to build their vocabulary.
Having to make a choice, as an Angry Beaver I think of you more as a Norbert instead of a Dagget. But, really, you're totally Arthur from The Tick.
I followed almost none of that, so I have made the command decision to declare it complimentary. In that context, I thank you.
Nothing but sweet things, Pops. Angry Beavers and Arthur . With all your awesome pop culture knowledge, I thought for sure you knew my references.
BTW, may I suggest something akin to "Ecoute-moi bien Marguerite" , ala the opera "Faust", as my word verification is foust.
Arthur I knew. Angry Beavers I had to look up. Where the hell was Tipper Gore when children were watching Angry Beavers? Children's TV is mostly an entendre-free zone of dullness. Well, except Dora the Explorer, obviously. Her and her "curiosity."
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