The OiA Book Club Presents

Going Rogue by Sarah Jessica Liberty Heath Palin.

I read it so you don't have to.

A lot of professional commentators and non-professional bloggers are excerpting parts of it, but it's all the same bits (John McCain is mean, John McCain's staff is mean, Barack Obama is mean and also black, etc.). As a service, I read it a little more closely and found some interesting tidbits that have slipped under the evil MSM radar. To wit:

-For Thanksgiving dinner every year, Todd brings home a live seal and eight spoons. And yes, it's an adult seal; reports to the contrary are another example of the big Fake America elite media trying to spin family wholesomeness into something icky and weird. Gosh.

-If you look really close, Katie Couric has a thin little moustache.

-Stopped being governor abruptly specifically to finish her thesis on loop quantum gravity. But then Oprah called and, darn it, it goes on the back burner AGAIN. At least the delaying factor wasn't another baby this time.

-John McCain not nearly as handsy as his reputation suggested. At least not above waist level, anyway.

-Secret Service codename for Sarah Palin: Governor Handjob.

-Secret Service codename for John McCain: Death-pallor.

-Once you get accustomed to the long travel times and the taste of fresh moose blood, governor of Alaska is not a hard job.

-Accepted the Oprah invitation not for the money or book publicity, but specifically to build in the "I have black friends" defense against racism charges. Checkmate, haters.

-Very hurt by cynics suggesting that, just because she drags out her special-needs child onto stage at events only long enough to be photographed holding him and then immediately hands him off to an aide does NOT mean she is using him as a political prop. Turns out that he's just really, really heavy.

-Has been extended free room and board at every La Quinta Inn located within the borders of "Real America." She intends to exploit this very generous offer just as soon as Real America gets a Barneys.

-Knows, obviously, that she cannot see Russia from her backyard. This is a political lie spun up by late night talk show hosts who want to molest her daughters. She did, however, invent the internet.

-On the night he died, had Ol' Dirty Bastard's initials tattooed on her torso, just below her left breast.

-Believes left-handed people to be "unclean."

-Drafts of her original election-night concession speech angrily rejected by McCain staffers simply because she insisted on ending with "Allahu akbar!"

-Would never, under any circumstances, pose for Playboy. And Maxim simply refuses to meet her number.

-Enjoys "Scrable [sic], time with (parts of) my family and the unrelenting persecution of my perceived enemies past capitulation and unto agony, defilement and death."

There's much more on the other 300+ pages, but honestly, most of it is just the typical self-serving boilerplate political blatherings you would expect. You know, alienation of the worker from the product of his labor, the rising of the proletariat to seize to means of production, the unsustainable contradictions inherent in bourgeois society, revolution, worker's paradise, blah blah blah.